Babies are often associated with peace, joy and happiness. However, newborns and their parents are often anything but peaceful, joyous and happy. A new baby can blow a marriage wide open. Any insecurity can become insurmountable if a couple does not face them together. The key to any of these issues is communication. Even when your belly is the biggest thing in the world, do not stop communicating and listening to your partner.
Prepare A Game Plan
The first week or so of nights both parents will jerk awake at the sound of the baby crying. This will fade, and they may start waiting for the other person to wake up and care for the baby, while they pretend to be asleep. Prepare a game plan ahead of time for who will do what and when. Perhaps you choose to have shifts or turns. Either way, make sure both of you are shouldering the night time responsibilities.
Accept Your Differences
Moms react very differently to the first baby than fathers do. Acknowledging that you and your partner are experiencing different emotions throughout the pregnancy is a very good idea. You, the mama-to-be, are all the about the baby. Nothing goes through your head that does not contain some shred of baby. You want to shop for clothes, paint the nursery, go to classes, read books, practically do anything you can to be prepared. Your partner is not pregnant. They can focus on other things in life, and they should, because they do not have a baby growing inside of them. Both of you need to be open and honest about feelings, fears and desires. Set up a time each day to discuss these things and actually listen to each other.
Confront Postpartum Issues
Postpartum depression has become much more acknowledged in the past few decades. The likelihood of a mother having this depends on her circumstances, her pregnancy and genetics. However, this depressive issue is not the only postpartum topic a couple should prepare for. Sexual intimacy after birth may take a nose dive for a while. New moms are thinking about everything but sex. This fact does not mean a couple cannot show their love intimately. Remember to talk to your partner about how you are feeling and how this may differ from their needs. Focus on the lighter intimate things like holding hands, cuddling and having quiet affectionate time together. These things keep intimacy alive.
Present A United Front
This United Front is specifically referring to in-laws and family members. Both of you need to be on the same page when it comes to visitors and baby sitters. You and the baby can become easily overwhelmed these first few weeks and months. Take it slowly and be firm but kind with overbearing family members.
Overall, the secret to your marriage surviving this baby is communication. Carefully listen and respect your partner and expect the same from them. You both are capable adults; one little baby should not scare you too much.
Women’s Center-East Dayton is located at 4787 Burkhardt Avenue not far from Woodman Drive in Dayton, Ohio. We offer free pregnancy testing and free pregnancy ultrasounds to Dayton women. Women can make a free initial appointment online by going to www.womenscenterohio.com and going to the East Dayton location page. To schedule an appointment over the phone or to learn more about the services we provide, call 937-610-7777. We can be reached by email at info@womenscenterohio.com. All Women’s Center-East’s pregnancy services are free and confidential.
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